TaTa Wars

Episode V: I hope you... The most dreaded part of all of the cancer ordeal was how and when to tell the kids. We were hoping that we would have some answers or treatment plan after the Oncology appointment, but did not. I debated on if there was a right time. And no time was a right time, just the best time. I spent time looking up ways to talk to your kids about cancer. I tried to see if there was some "right" way to do it. I did not find any real answers other than you have to do what you feel was best and not to lie. In the end, I know my children and had to do what was right for my family. I knew that my house was about to be full of changes. New words were going to be used until I was finished with treatment. Words like cancer, chemotherapy, surgery, and more. I knew that I was going to go through a lot of changes. I would lose my hair, be sick at times, and those things would be visible. So many things would occur and there was no way that any of them co...

Episode IV: No, I am your cancer The Radiologist said that the biopsy test results would be back today. So, I spent the day doing my normal routine... and waiting. The phone rang with a local unknown number and my heart sank. I was actually anxious and nervous, though I had convinced myself I was fine. It was the biopsy nurse who called to check up on me. By the time I hung up the phone, I felt almost better because I got that negative energy out before the real call. As with life, the timing was off when my phone rang again. I had just pulled in to my daughter's school to pick her up and there were 9 minutes before I had to step out of the car and walk to the school door. Of course, the call was from my Radiologist with my results! She started with general conversation, which I immediately moved to the topic of my results. I had about 6 minutes left before I had to get my daughter.

Episode III: Alas! This is Not What I Thought, A Mass I arrived at the Breast Center and filled out my paperwork, which included two child-like drawings of breasts at the bottom of the page. When I returned the paper, I asked if I was suppose to circle where the lump was, but learned that those bad renderings are essentially nothing more than eye-candy... Soon I was moved to a back waiting area full of women waiting to get squished. I changed into the uniform that was provided to me, two blue hospital gowns. One opened forward and the other regular, for modesty purposes - I suppose. When I got out of the dressing room I took the last open seat that had an empty chair next to it. When I looked around the room all of us had one empty seat next to us and were all wearing the same gowns. The blue hospital gowns sitting in every other seat was pretty funny. Each lady was different. You had the foot tapper, she was in front of me to the left. And the knee bopper, she w...

Episode II: The Meetoo with an Whattatime I waited for a call concerning when I would be scheduled for a mammogram... No one called the day I showed my doctor the lump in my breast or the next day to schedule anything. Then the weekend passed - which included a unicorn themed art birthday party for my daughter who just happened to turn six during all this. While I was not overly worried, by the end of the weekend my mom went from questioning if someone had called me to harassing me to call them. To be honest, she was really doing it by Friday, the day after my appointment, but who's remembering...?

Episode I: A lump, or not a lump Just like any other night, it was late enough that the kids were asleep and the TV was actually on something we wanted to watch. I had just taken off my bra to let the girls get some freedom and opted to get a snack from the pantry. In my normal sassy manner, I made some inappropriate crass comment while gently flipping my hands down my chest. I didn't make it all the way down, because I felt something - something that should not be there. At first I thought it was in my head, but I felt the same spot on the top of my right breast a few more times before I dared mention it out loud. Then I immediately asked my hubby to come over and see if it was really there, like I did not know. As one would imagine, he wasn't going to NOT take an opportunity to feel my boobs. After feeling the lump easily when I was in an upright position and barely feeling it while laying down, we determined that the lump was actually a lump . It w...