TaTa Wars

Disclaimer: I am not going to be a good friend. It is not that I do not want to be a good friend. It is not that I am not doing my best. Honestly, I am just not able to be the friend I used to be. I still lecture my children "to have a friend you have to be a friend." It is true. I still believe it. Unfortunately, I just don't have it in me to be the friend I should be. I am barely able to be a good wife and mother... so, friends you'll just have to wait. Why I am a Bad Friend: 1. I do not feel good. I really don't. Things hurt. Things cramp. Things go numb. Things burn. Things swell. Things feel like baseball bats have been hitting them. I have countless problems and I never know which one is going to be my enemy each day. It is not some lame excuse to avoid doing things, I just feel bad. 2. I do not know when I am going to feel good. From the weather, to the day or hour, to whether or not I have already overdone it the previous day... I have no ide...

It has been a whole year... a whole year since I have posted anything. I guess there could have been a few options for my absence: I died. I was to busy living that I couldn't write. I was to busy trying to function that I couldn't write. I didn't want to. I ... (enter any reason you want to imagine). Apparently #1 is not true. I am obviously alive. As for the other answers, they may all be true. I can't lie and say that I have not posted anything because I have been happily busy in my back-to-normal life. I never found a good back-to-normal life. I think I just found life... or a way to function in my surviorship. Heck, I am still trying to find a way to function. Mainly I have been busy dealing with crappy side effects, children and all that they bring, as well as just trying to function. For those who have post-treatment problems, you will understand that statement. I am functioning. Some days I function well... and other days, let's just say I am...